Smart-Ass Answer #6
It was mealtime during a flight on American Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the passenger.
"What are my choices?" was the reply.
"Yes or no," she replied.
Smart-Ass Answers #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart-Ass Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-Ass Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
But his load is heavy and he realizes he is not going to be able to stop in time, suddenly getting his rig stuck under the bridge's girder, causing traffic to back-up for miles.
A police car then drives up seeing the back-up, gets out of his car, and walks up to the truck driver, putting his hands on his hips saying, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
And now the Smart-Ass Answer for 2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class," she says, "I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Thanks to Len from New Brunswick, Canada, eh?