ON TURNING 70 |
"You still chase women, but only downhill" |
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| ON TURNING 80 |
"That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing." |
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| ON TURNING 90 |
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." |
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| ON TURNING 100 |
" I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon . Then it's time for my nap." |
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| ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING |
"I ruined my hands in the ring . . . the referee kept stepping on them." |
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| ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR |
"Welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it's called at my home, 'Passover'." |
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| ON GOLF |
"Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees." |
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| ON PRESIDENTS |
"I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six." |
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| ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER |
"When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham'." |
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| ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL |
"I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it." |
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| ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY |
"Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother." |
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| ON HIS SIX BROTHERS |
"That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom." |
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| ON HIS EARLY FAILURES |
"I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me." |
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| ON GOING TO HEAVEN |
"I've done benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality." |
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