Dear Abby


Dear Abby:

"I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who  has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in  a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is  married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been  arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my  other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two  brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for  murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in  the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three  children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a  former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a  part-time "working girl" in a brothel.

My problem is this:  I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and  of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my uncle who voted for Bush?"


A liberal worried about his reputation





"Freedom is Knowledge"