1.) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat)
during the playing of the National Anthem, kick their butt.
2.) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American
Flag in protest, kick their butt.
3.) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay
the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone
doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these
veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second.
Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to
make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled
veteran kicks them in their butt.
4.) If you were never in the military, do not pretend that
you were. Wearing camouflage, telling others that you used to
be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia,
might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only
make you look stupid and get your butt kicked.
5.) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask
them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the
Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an butt kicking
(children are exempt.)
6.) If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard nonmilitary,
inform them of their mistake and then kick their butt.
7.) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem was not
a blooper. It was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner
or later your butt will be kicked.
8.) Next time Old Glory goes by during a parade, get on your
damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough
to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those
could earn you a severe butt kicking.
9.) What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the
enemy. Just mention her nomination for "Woman of the
Year" and get your butt kicked.
10. ) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member
or a veteran. We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless
of our party affiliation. The President is our Commander in
Chief regardless of political party. We have no inside track
on what happens inside those big important buildings where all
those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military
to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you
to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your butt already.)
11.) "Your mama wears combat boots" never
made sense to me. If she did, she would most likely be a vet
and, therefore, could kick your butt!
12.) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop
saying "Let's go kill those Commie's!" And
stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue
in the military. That reminds me If you see anyone calling those
damn psychic phone numbers; let me know so I can go kick their
13.) Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army),
Squid (Navy), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing
each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have
not earned the right to use them. Doing so will get your butt
14. ) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member
of the military, support our troops and their families. Every
Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family
and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands
of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with
Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every
day. Without them, our country would get its butt kicked.