To those of us who
have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces, nephews, or students, here is something that will strike
you right in your home. Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence
did not extend to His own children.
Let's take a look at
how it all probably came about. After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve, and the first thing he said was to
be "The Word" that would come out of every parent's
mouth for eternity. God said,"DON'T . . . !"
"Don't what?" Adam
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
"Forbidden Fruit? We have forbidden
fruit?" "Hey Eve," Adam continued shouting
across the garden, "Did you know we have Forbidden
"No Way!," Eve replied.
"Do NOT eat the fruit,"
God said again like no one was listening!
"Why," they asked
"Because I am your Father and
I said so," God answered in frustration and wondering
why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants,
rats, and cockroaches!
A few minutes later, God saw His children
sitting under the fruit tree having an "Apple Break."
He was really ticked now!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat
the fruit?" God shouted . . . thinking, why on earth
did I have children?
"Uh huh," Adam replied,
his mouth now filled with applesauce.
"Then why did you?"
said God, his Father.
"I don't know either,"
"Well, she started it,"
Adam said pointing to her with another apple in his hand.
Having had it with the two of them, God
decided the appropriate punishment was for Adam
and Eve to have the experience of having children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set that has never changed over thousands
of generations. But there is reassurance
in the story!
If you have persistently and lovingly
tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't
be hard on yourself. If God had this kind of trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a "Piece of
Apple Pie" for you?
So to help you along on
this seemingly endless trail, here are some things to think
about when raising children of your own:
1. You spend the first two years of
their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for
not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some
animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In
fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't
5. The main purpose of holding children's
parties is to remind yourself that there may be children out
there more awful than your own.
6. While we make every effort to childproofed
our homes, they are still getting back in.
7. But here is some important advice
to consider when raising your children. Try to be nice to
your kids through it all. They may need to choose your nursing
home one day.
8. Finally, if you have a lot of tension
and you get a headache while raising your children, do exactly
what is written on the aspirin bottle found in your bathroom's
medicine cabinet . . .
aspirin . . . and keep away from children!"