the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach with green, yellow, and red vegetables
of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan couldn't resist giving
Him a hard time and created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
along with Krispy Kremes. And Satan asked,"You
want hot fudge with that?"
Man answered: "You bet!"
And Woman said: "I'll have one, too, with a lots of
And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds each.
And God responded by creating a healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep her pretty figure that Man found so fair. But Satan
brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.
So God said: "Look over here, my children, try my fresh
green garden salad." And Satan agreed and presented
crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts.
God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them for added taste." And
Satan agreed and brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its
own large platter. And Man's and Woman's cholesterol went through
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan agreed
and peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center
into potato chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding
copious quantities of salt. And Man and Woman packed on more
pounds, looking like Mr. and Mrs. Doughboy.
God then brought forth Nike running shoes so His naughty children
might lose those extra pounds they had been putting on. But
Satan introduced cable HDTV digital television with remote control
so Man would not have to toil changing the channels, becoming
the first couch potato. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering 1080i images, later upgrading their wardrobe
to wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits purchased from Paradise's
God then created lean beef so that Man and Woman might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy their appetite. Satan agreed
but instead created McDonald's and the 99-cent Double
Then Satan asked Man and Woman: "Do you want golden
fries with that?"
And Man replied: "Yep, and super size 'em, too!"
And Satan said: " It's good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest. God sighed is disgust
and reluctantly created quadruple by-pass surgery. Satan chuckled
and created the Canadian Health Care System.