In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, in the hopes
that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and
as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white
flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented thousand-island dressing, buttery croutons,
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their
belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight
and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel
Food Cake," and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might
lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue
light and gained more pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
And Man gained additional pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes, and super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good," and Man went
into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and createdquadruple bypass surgery.
Satan then created the HMO.
Thought for the day
Today there is more money being spent on breast implants and
Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population
with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them.