- On Money: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
- On Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 50. A man would not be able to identify more than six.
- On Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- On Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
- On Waking: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
- On Offspring: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, best friends, favorite foods, and secret fears. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
- On Nicknames: If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah. If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.
- On Eating Out: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, it's first subjected to pocket calculators.
- On The Future: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- On Dressing Up: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
- A Final Thought: A married man can forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!