Why Men Are Rarely Depressed

As A Man, You're Probably Happier Because . . .


Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Same work, more play.
Same work, more pay.
You can never be pregnant. (Well not under normal circumstances.)
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear no shirt to a water park.
Auto mechanics tell you the truth.
You know stuff about important things such as tanks, planes, boats, and fantasy football.
You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You believe wedding plans take care of themselves.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Wrinkles usually add character.
Gray hair always does.
One mood . . . all the time.
Phone conversations are usually over before they start.
You never have to drive to another gas station because the restroom was too icky.
A five-day vacation requires one suitcase.
You can open all your own bottles and jars.
If someone forgets to invite you, they can still be your friend.
Your total underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years . . . even decades.
You only shave your face and neck, that is if you want to.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
One wallet and one pair of shoes are one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on the same night even if it's December 24th.
Any bush can be your urinal.


- On Money: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

- On Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 50. A man would not be able to identify more than six.

- On Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

- On Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

- On Waking: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

- On Offspring: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, best friends, favorite foods, and secret fears. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

- On Nicknames: If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah. If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

- On Eating Out: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, it's first subjected to pocket calculators.

- On The Future: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

- On Dressing Up: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

- A Final Thought: A married man can forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


Source: Different versions all over the Internet. This is just one of them.



"Freedom is Knowledge"