1. People who point at their wrist while asking
for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is
yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off butt to search the entire
room for the television remote because they refuse to walk to
the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake
and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you
can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look."
Of course it is! Why the hell would you keep looking after you've
found it?
5. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see
that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and
stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's
an improvement, then there must have been something before it,
couldn't be new.
8. When people say, "Life is short". What the
hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does. What can
you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has
the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing
here buster?
Thanks to Robin of Chicago, Illinois