Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage


Red Skelton was one of the funniest comedians on American television.   He didn't use cuss words or references that would be hurtful or offensive to any viewers, including children that might be watching.

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1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food, and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays. I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Her's is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time," she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me "In the lake."

7. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

8. Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

9. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

Thanks to Gail of Pennsylvania





"Freedom is Knowledge"