Idiot Sighting #1:
This week, all our office
phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00
p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,
the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to
call you before we come?"
I replied that I didn't see
how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't
working. He also requested that we report future outages by
your e-mail work without a telephone line?)
Idiot Sighting #2:
I was signing the receipt
for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never
signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed
me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained
that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just
signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front
She carefully compared the
signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As
luck would have it, they matched.
Idiot Sighting #3:
I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars
and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
Idiot Sighting #4:
My daughter went to a local
Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for "minimal lettuce."He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg."
Idiot Sighting #5:
I was at the airport, checking
in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has
anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."
Idiot Sighting #6:
The stoplight on the corner
buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing
with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that
it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled she responded, "What
on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Idiot Sighting #7:
I work with an individual
who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life
of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
Idiot Sighting #8:
When my husband and I arrived
at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told
the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department
and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
As I watched from the passenger
side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced
to the technician, "It's open!"
To which he replied, "I
know, I already got that side."