These People Vote

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North. He explained to the agent he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

The agent asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants
talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.

She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't
think she'd get\ sunburned because the car was moving."

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. So she keeps it
in the trunk.

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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big
party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman
there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry about it, and that she was a trained professional and I was therefore in good hands.

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

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While working at a Pizza Parlor, I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into four or six pieces.

He though about it before responding and replied, "Just cut it into four pieces. I don't think I'm hungry enough for six."

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Now you know how those idiot politicians got into office!