Church
Bulletins . . . "What was that?"
These
announcements actually appeared in a church bulletin
or were given during a church service. |
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"The Associate
Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.' "
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"Bertha Belch,
a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary
Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
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"Announcement
in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING:
Conference: 'The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer
conference includes meals.' "
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"The sermon this
morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching
for Jesus.' "
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"Ladies, don't
forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."
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"The peacemaking
meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict."
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"Remember in prayer
the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who
is hard to love. Say 'hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you."
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"Don't let worry
kill you off - let the Church help."
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"Miss Charlene
Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation."
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"For those of you
who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."
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"Next Thursday
there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get."
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"Barbara remains
in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons."
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"During the absence
of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a
good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit."
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"The Rector will
preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing
'Break Forth into Joy.' "
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"Irving Benson
and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days."
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"A bean supper
will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir
practice."
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"Eight new choir
robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."
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"Attend and you
will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."
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"The church will
host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and
gracious hostility."
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"Potluck supper
Sunday at 5:00 P.M. Prayer and medication to follow."
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"The ladies of
the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."
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"This evening at
7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the
Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."
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"Ladies Bible Study
will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited
to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done."
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"Low Self Esteem
Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use back
door."
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"The eighth-graders
will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement
Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy."
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"Weight Watchers
will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance."
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