And All God's Children Say, "Amen!"


Source: Internet. Compliments of Denise Goodfellow, NT Territory, Australia . . . the Annie Oakley of Australia.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students, here is something that will strike you right in your home. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

Let's take a look at how it all probably came about. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve, and the first thing he said was to be "The Word" that would come out of every parent's mouth for eternity. God said,"DON'T . . . !"


"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden Fruit? We have forbidden fruit?" "Hey Eve," Adam continued shouting across the garden, "Did you know we have Forbidden fruit!!"

"No Way!," Eve replied.

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit," God said again like no one was listening!

"Why," they asked in unison.

"Because I am your Father and I said so," God answered in frustration and wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants, rats, and cockroaches!

A few minutes later, God saw His children sitting under the fruit tree having an "Apple Break." He was really ticked now!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God shouted . . . thinking, why on earth did I have children?

"Uh huh," Adam replied, his mouth now filled with applesauce.

"Then why did you?" said God, his Father.

"I don't know either," cried Eve.

"Well, she started it," Adam said pointing to her with another apple in his hand.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"


Having had it with the two of them, God decided the appropriate punishment was for Adam
and Eve to have the experience of having children of their own. Thus the pattern was set that has never changed over thousands of generations.
But there is reassurance in the story!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had this kind of trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a "Piece of Apple Pie" for you?

So to help you along on this seemingly endless trail, here are some things to think about when raising children of your own:

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there may be children out there more awful than your own.

6. While we make every effort to childproofed our homes, they are still getting back in.

7. But here is some important advice to consider when raising your children. Try to be nice to your kids through it all. They may need to choose your nursing home one day.

8. Finally, if you have a lot of tension and you get a headache while raising your children, do exactly what is written on the aspirin bottle found in your bathroom's medicine cabinet . . .

"Take two aspirin . . . and keep away from children!"



"Freedom is Knowledge"