PALM SUNDAY:
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year
old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter.
When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm
branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as He walked by,"
they replied.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The
one Sunday I don't go, he shows up!"
CHILDREN'S SERMON:
One Easter Sunday morning, as the minister was preaching the
children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled
out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's
in here?"
"I know!" one little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose."
SUPPORT A FAMILY:
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can
you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was
just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will
have to fend for yourselves."
GRANDMA'S AGE:
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment and then said, "And how
old would you be if you get go?"
FIRST TIME USHERS:
A Little boy in church for the first time watched as the users
passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew,
the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under
five."
PRAYERS:
The Sunday school teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell
me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," he replied. "We don't have
to. My Mom is a good cook."
CLIMB THE WALLS:
"Oh, I am sure happy to see you," the little
boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now
maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious, "What trick is that?"
she asked.
"I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered,
"that he would climb the walls if you came to visit."
THE WATER PISTOL:
When my three-year old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with
delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased, turning to my Mom. "I'm surprised
at you," I said in amazement. "Don't you remember
how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
"I remember," she said with a smile.
LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"Do you believe in life after death?" the
boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just find,"
the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to
go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped by to see you."